pulling a 180

Being a parent has taught me many things. So far, the most important lessons I have learned are how to be flexible, adaptable and open-minded.

These are traits that I thought I had before Fève was born. I have always been able to argue a point with complete conviction and then turn around and argue the complete opposite the next day with just as much conviction. I know there are no absolute truths, only points of view. And, regardless of how passionate my opinion may be on any certain thing, I know everything is relative. I am always open to other opinions and other perspectives. I know it is wise to face the world with an open heart and open mind. I know I don't know everything.

However, I had no idea that what I thought I knew would be so challenged just by having a kid.

Every parent I know has a list of things they said would never do as a parent but end up doing anyway. My list is growing. Right now it includes: letting Fève watch TV, giving Fève juice (in a plastic sippy cup, no less!), and feeding Fève sugary baked goods, amongst other things.

In the fall this list may include sending Fève to preschool.

Previously I thought no preschool or day care for Fève before age three, but that was before my son's personality really started to form. That was before I realized I was parenting a child who is an extreme extrovert.

Being happily non-extroverted myself, I had supposed that I would have a like-minded child. I can spend hours, days, weeks all by myself and be perfectly content. In fact, being around people too much, or too many people all at once, can totally throw me off balance, put me off my game, make me want to bury my head in the sand.

Not so my son. He comes alive around other people, especially other children. He seems to hate being alone. If we spend the entire day inside, just the two of us, he will be literally hanging off the door handle by the end of the day. I long ago realized that he prefers to be outside, he thrives on lots of human contact and he wants to be where the action is.

With his temperament and needs in mind, I am considering putting him in some sort of parent-participation-optional preschool in the fall. Hopefully, if I can find a suitable place, only a couple of days a week at first, with me there to monitor how he is doing. Not much different from the swimming lessons, music classes and play groups he has taken, except with a little more continuity, structure and routine than the hodge-podge of stuff he currently participates in.

I think this is something he would really enjoy. Although it was not my original plan to put him in any sort of preschool so early, in the spirit of keeping an open mind I will give it a try. I once vowed to keep him home for as long as possible, and I am still glad that I didn't have to put him in day care, but maybe I need to adapt my original plan, look at things from a different perspective. It is important to listen to my child, to respect and honour his needs and to admit that I am not always right.